Friday, May 22, 2009

Guest Wants Free Transport & Accomodation - another bridezilla's rantings

BridezillaImage sourced via

In my free time I have been looking into wedding websites and ideas how to manage a reasonable good wedding on a shoestring budget. As much as I look forward for a wedding to remember, I wanted to keep it simple so not to overspend unnecessarily. I know that planning for a wedding is not easy especially when you have relatives living in all four corners of the globe. Most of my relatives asked me to (if possible) plan at least one year ahead and inform them as early as possible so they can take the necessary arrangements as they are living on the other side of the planet. I find that it was a good idea to inform people early so that those who really wanted come can have enough time to save money and even plan a little holiday while here. With the right mood, I inform my relatives and friends.

Alas, not everyone was in the same wave length as I. While most of them got excited over the news and started making their own savings and planning, some boldly asked me a rather offensive (or at least I thought it was) and insensitive question – asking my husband to pay for their transportation and accommodation! Honestly, I didn’t quite know how to react to such a request because it never struck my mind on such a response. Nor were there any hint of such a possible answer could have ever come out from one’s mouth! To me, making such request was akin to having to pay people to attend your wedding. But if that’s the case, I was thinking I rather pay invite more well known people like Amber Chia (Malaysian model), Harith Iskandar (Malaysian actor / comedian) or if it’s even possible - Gurmit Singh (Singaporean actor famous for his role as Pua Chu Kang)! And that was just the basic of asking them to attend the reception dinner.

It really puzzles me that when we invite someone to be at our wedding, is it required that we pay for the guest's transportation and accommodation? Shouldn't it be the guest themselves pay for it? Especially noting the fact that the bridal couple will be spending quite a huge sum for everything else and adding their (guest) tab into the bridal couple's financial burden just doesn't make any sense at all. However things will be different if I'm married to a tycoon. I don't think that would even be a problem in the first place! Probably then I can even get a chartered plane to fly my guest or have a sunset reception dinner in Jimbaran Bay (Bali) instead? And wouldn't it be more obvious when the bride informs her guest 365 days in advance is a sign that she expects them to be prepared to pay for their own trip? After all, if one can start saving MYR2.00 (approx. USD0.60 cents) a day, by the time the wedding day arrives, you could have about MYR730.00! That's more than enough to pay for a return bus ticket (return first class coach (the most expensive among all buses companies) is priced at MYR120.00 from KL to Penang), two nights hotel stay (average hotel prices are MYR200.00 a night, but you can pay half if you share your room with another friend), and based on traditional Chinese customs, invited guest do not bring presents for the bridal couple but give red packets instead which usually is up to the guest to decide the amount (common amount is MYR20 per person in rural areas while people in big cities usually fork out MYR50 as it is known that banquet dinners in the city cost at least MYR60 per pax). So even after deducting the hotel stay, bus transport AND red packet there is still extra money left! Oh well, I guess by asking for my husband to pay for their transport and accommodation is their sign of saying 'I can't come'


  1. wah seh.. ask u to pay for them ar? so daring lo.. they really want take advantage kao kao..

  2. One wouldn't expect something like this from family, but I guess times have really changed a lot. Sometimes it's unbelievable how rude people can get! Don't let them spoil your wedding, Waileng. You deserve a very special day! Wishing all the best :)

  3. Hayley since you have friends in KL also, I'll give you a head start on being prepared - don't be surprise to get such answers when you send out your invitations in future (^^,)
    Rosidah, you are right. I shouldn't let these people spoil my wedding. Maybe this is why some of my relatives and friends only invite their closest relatives. Thank you.


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